Our Journey into Homeschooling

Homeschooling, everyone who does it has a story to tell. Some may decide to homeschool for religious reasons. Some because they feel their child/children will get a better education. Still others may feel pressure from their family or peers to do it. But no matter which path in life has led you to that place where you find yourself sitting in the kitchen explaining parts of a cell, you can always know for certain, EVERYONE around you has an opinion about your decision.

This is our journey into homeschooling.

Justice started her school experience when she was two months old. This was the infamous IFSP/MDT (Individual Family Service Plan/ Multidisciplinary Plan). At that time we started with an in-home teacher, a physical therapist, occupational therapist, a service coordinator and a nurse from some agency who didn’t do “nursing,” she was just there to help – somehow? And one more person from another agency; again, not sure why she came, we just had coffee together once a week but she was really nice.

This group went on for the first couple of years. After the first few (or maybe one) meetings, I started piping in with my goals and really making them work for their money. Then Justice was diagnosed with a server hearing loss. This was completely heartbreaking and very hard to except. We took a deep breath and although we didn’t totally buy into it right away, we added a speech pathologist, a deaf educator and two family sign language instructors to our team of teachers.
I was still setting goals and pushing each instructor to go well beyond average. I could see potential in Justice. From the outside looking in she was just a baby who vomited continuously, could hardly interact because she was so sick, and was not even close to meeting those baby milestones every parent judges their child’s complete success in life off of. However, I could see in her that someday, she would conquer this and when she does, she will fall back on everything we were teaching her now.

When Justice turned three years old the “in home” education had to come to an end and pre-school was to begin. This was a very hard transition to make especially considering Justice’s medical needs and the fact that my three-year-old only weighed about 25 lbs. Letting go and putting my very tiny girl onto a huge bus with giant seats at 6:15 am ended up being one of those times in life when you prove to yourself how strong you can be. She and I both survived and she went to a pre-school with a deaf educator as the “teacher” and a speech pathologist as the “helper” in the room. They did all her cares; they made sure all the kids were special, loved, educated and equal. It was wonderful.  I still had many of my “but Justice needs….” moments but that’s just part of keeping the system improving.

After pre-school, Justice went on to Kindergarten with these same kids from pre-school. She had all the support she needed. She was learning right along with all the other kids in the school and then we had to move away.

The next school she went to was not prepared for a child with a hearing loss. Although by this time Justice’s loss was recovering, she was still a very visual learner and was greatly dependent on sign language for explaining concepts and keeping her focused and on task. Unfortunately, all sign language was pulled from her and there was little understanding of how she was taught to learn or how having a hearing loss as an infant and toddler effected her as a 1st grader. At this point, our family decided to move again to another larger town where services were available for Justice.

This decision to move was in some ways good but educationally for Justice, probably one of the worst and saddest things that didn’t have to happen to her. I was told, “She’s not smart enough to learn.” “We aren’t going to put our resources into her when we get 1% of our students we don’t have to test for the No Child Left Behind program. Since we do not have many children that fall into this 1% special needs group, we’re putting Justice in it.” They were not teaching Justice or putting money into providing for her special educational needs because she wasn’t going to affect their test scores. In addition, they didn’t believe her hearing loss affected her because she could answer them when they said hello to her in the hall. If she knew what they said then, why wouldn’t she know what the teacher’s saying? This was very sad given that deaf educators also were trying to stand up for Justice at this time and explain the difference between these situations.

On top of the lack of education, one day her 1st grade teacher decided to do something nice for Justice. She stood her in front of the class and pointed out all of Justice's disabilities. The class discussed them and then the teacher told the class to be Justice’s friend, to be nice to her because she can’t help it that she’s so different. Justice was so humiliated, hurt and scared! I couldn’t believe this happened to her and there was nothing I could have done to protect her or help her. I wonder if this teacher would feel honored if at the next conference she attends, the lead speaker brings her up front and points out where she’s carrying extra weight, her graying hair and aging skin. Then maybe to really honor her, pulls out her medical records.

Justice also wasn’t allowed to use the same restroom as the other kids due to her wearing a back brace and she may need help buttoning her pants. (Not a teacher’s problem) She had to walk about a block to the nurse’s station to use the restroom. On a field trip they didn’t bring a nurse and she was not allowed to use the restroom (again not the teacher responsibility) so she had an accident and was left in it from 9:30am to 2:30 pm. Then they walked the two blocks back to the school and had a nurse clean her up.

This is just the beginning. Justice wants to go back to school, not that school but some school.  I hear people’s opinions all the time about how much better it would be for her if I would let her, so she could be with her peers. But I ask you this…..What do you send your kids to school for? Is it just to be with their peer? Her peers do not except her. And her peer’s parents aren’t teaching them that she really is their peer. She's not a little 5 or 6 year old or someone to feel sorry for but an actual peer they should treat like all the rest of their friends. Do you expect an education for your child at school? What would you do if the school decided that your child only needed to be there for social reasons and stops teaching your child to read and write? What would you do if you got a letter stating if your child misses any more days of school you will be turned into Health and Human Services to see if you're being a fit parent, even though your child was in the hospital?

I would love to send Justice back to school. Homeschooling was not my idea; it was actually our states department of education’s idea. However, it’s a personal decision, not easily decided upon. I would love to have a career, a paycheck, co-workers...but as a responsible parent, I have to do what is right for my child. Sometimes what is right isn’t always easy or the popular choice. What I’m asking of people is to have an open mind and to understand all the decisions parents make for their children are hard. We are constantly second guessing ourselves. What we need is to support each other whether our decision is to work or to stay home with our children, to send them to school or homeschool, to feed them organic free range chicken or McNuggets for supper. When were ready to judge, let’s all just remember Justice standing in front of the class having an adult point at her weaknesses. Then instead of judging just say “I don’t know how or why they do what they do, but they might have a good reason that I may not be aware of.” Who would have thought a situation like this would have factored into our decision to homeschool? Most people assume it’s just because I want to do it.

I want to send a HUGE thank you to all those teachers, therapists, nurses, doctors and support staff who did believe in Justice and in me. We would not be here without all of you. You have been a shining example for others to follow, keep on loving and helping our children. We need you!